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A Matter of Scale or Obtuse to Abuse?

The thing about mental illness, specifically Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is that we, as humans, have a hard time seeing things at different scales. I have long theorized that one of the challenges about unifying gravitational and quantum physics is that they are both the same thing operating at different scales.

Yes, I do think about things like this.

Anyway, this week, people have been wondering why 45 seems to have done a complete 180-degree turn on his policies and one of the junior Trumps – Beavis or Butthead, I don’t remember which, cited Ivanka’s influence behind the turn around on Syria.

We know that 45 employs abuse tactics. We know he has expressed some fairly creepy feelings about his daughter. But, what if those feelings are rooted in the fact that he doesn’t see her as his daughter as much as she sees her as the mother figure in his life?

It makes perfect sense given that in order for him to continue to behave like a man-child, he needs there to be parental figures to define that role.
It also makes sense that he took hardline views and kept a raging anti-Semitic buffoon at his right hand that he is now seemingly put on the fast track to downgrade EVER SINCE IVANKA ANNOUNCED SHE WAS TAKING A ROLE IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

People have said that 45 has been engaging in testing behaviors. We are all assuming that those testing behaviors are directed towards us, without understanding that “we” don’t exist to people with malignant narcissism. There is no ‘us’ – there is only them and the people they see as extensions of themselves. Like family. That being said, it is entirely possible that all of 45’s testing has been directed at Ivanka. Maybe she honestly had absolutely no intention of taking a role in the WH, and had honestly planned to stay out of it. Until her abuser tested her limits until he found the thing that made HER do the 180 degree turn, turning her “No, I don’t want to”, regarding a role in the administration, into “Ok, I will.” And maybe her reason for taking an unpaid role is her way of giving herself a mental handhold that let’s her tell herself she’s not ‘really’ giving in to his tactics. They didn’t really work, this is MY choice. I’m not doing it because HE wants me to, I’m doing it because I’m helping people, or a person in particular, that needs help. He needs me.

To anybody who has lived with any kind of abuse, that practice should sound eerily familiar.

I could, of course, be totally off base here. Taking a view of Ivanka Trump that vaguely resembles sympathetic is highly unpopular, and there are probably may reasons why she doesn’t deserve it, not the least of which is her mangling of the English language.

At the same time, abuse is a sinister thing. It doesn’t have to be physical, and I think in more cases, it’s not. It’s psychological that tends to manifest itself in physical ways. Abuse, at it’s core is doing things to actively control another person, to short circuit their free will through manipulation, gaslighting and other psychological tortures, emotional abuse, physical violence. Over time, sustained abuse leaves the victim appearing cold, distant, aloof, disconnected from other people and from reality. It also probably becomes infinitely more difficult to spot in people who’s financial means and lifestyle make them seem that way anyway. The thing about abusers and those they abuse is the fact that they both want to be invisible. The abuser wants it to mask the abuse and the abused want it so their abusers don’t pay attention to them. Out of sight, out of mind also means ‘in sight, on mind’, and being on their abusers mind is the last thing that an abuse victim wants.

All that being said, to a man with no sense of boundaries at all, making hundreds, thousands, millions of people suffer to get the attention and cooperation of the object from whom you are seeking attention and emotional approval is no different than making one person suffer for it. All of 45’s inexplicable cruelty to the world in general and the American People could all have easily been part of a campaign directed towards gaining the complicity of his own daughter and, possible, favorite abuse victim.

Your mileage may vary….